Computer jokes

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Me: "What is that noise?"
Customer: "Hey Martinez!! I'm on the phone! Cut it out!"
Me: "What was that?"
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: "It's from a device."
Me: "What kind of device?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Me: "Like a fax machine or something?"
Customer: "I don't know. Someone is under house arrest or something."

Rating: 2.4 |

Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up."
Customer: "Look, I don't have three hands!"

Rating: 1.2 |

Customer: "Hi, I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"

Rating: 4.0 |

Customer: "I've been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time."
Tech Support: "Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?"
Customer: "Of course I am. That's why I bought it."
Tech Support: "Sir, do you know what Monte-Carlo analysis does?"
Customer: "Don't get rude with me, of course I do."
Tech Support: "Put briefly, sir, it runs through your project several times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it averages out the results."
Customer: "I know all that -- what I want to know is why it keeps giving me different answers every time I run it."

Rating: 3.8 |

Customer: "Wait, that password looks really gray. I'm going to type it in again."

Rating: 3.0 |

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