AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Computer jokes and funny stories.

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.

When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message.

She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error?

There isn't even a keyboard attached?

While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.

He said it said "File not found".

I told him to do a dir.

I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.

He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat."

I said type this in "type autoexec.bat".

Again he got "File not found".

I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed.

He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.

Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows 95

Windows95: n.

32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?
Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

The Three Laws of Secure Computing

1) Don't buy a computer.
2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in.
3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.